Oct. 29th, 2015 01:43 pm
I do not wear eyeshadow, but I like looking at eyeshadows? Online, at those mineral makeup shops that name them things like "Jesse Pinkman" and "Out, Damned Spot!" and "Team Rocket." (Those three names belong to a coherent thematic category.)

It's pretty, it's just that I just don't actually like the way it looks when placed on the eyelids? I think people's eyelids are a reasonable color already. You put eyeshadow on them and you end up just looking maybe slightly meaner, and it's not an improvement.

Our present approach to makeup is honestly really limiting and confusing to me, we don't do enough with it! Like, I would wear this substance on my face if it weren't, you know. Just for your eyes. If you are the sort of person who wants Breaking Bad-themed makeup, you should be able to stencil molecules onto your face with it, on occasions other than Halloween or the Woolly Worm Festival.

The only place it's socially-acceptable to apply Poke Balls to yourself with your makeup is your fingernails, and in my opinion, that means that we're doing this wrong.

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