Oct. 28th, 2015 04:05 pm
Someone else please write the overactive-pattern-recognition post about scapegoating/call-out culture/Vriska-vs-Kankri as Bad SJWs/Gamzee being the goat. I have no brain cells left to house the discourse. They are all presently occupied by outrage about Kentucky politics and other people's Ruby code.

(#six days until we know which idiot is the governor #will it be screaming tea party man #puzzled fark-dot-com man #or a relentlessly-narcissistic early-90s-republican running as a democrat? #we lose regardless #we always lose #kentucky #is a doomed timeline)
I've been avoiding drinking unboiled tap water for a week to see if it helped with my stomach problems. It has.

(Should I warn the neighbors?)

Oct. 6th, 2015 09:04 pm
Why does Florida get to vote for the candidate who sacrificed-a-goat-to-the-god-of-the-wilderness whereas Kentucky is stuck voting for the candidate who Fark-dot-com

deep sigh

Sep. 30th, 2015 07:54 pm
Cut for Kentucky politics.

Read more... )

Jun. 5th, 2015 11:30 pm
I tried to look up the gym nearby, to figure out if I could expect to find someone there who could explain why I keep hurting myself doing squats without being a creep. All I could find was a Topix thread that's mostly

1) people asking if the gym is gay (bad), and

2) people asking if the gym sells steroids (good).

Nobody answered the steroids question, but the gym is probably not gay, though the guy who owns it does have big pictures of himself flexing up on the walls. That definitely answered all my questions, thank you Topix.

Jun. 4th, 2015 09:32 pm
Social Security disability payments restored for hundreds in Eastern Kentucky facing eligibility review.

Thank Christ. This should never have happened.

I will point out that though Rogers is getting the credit in this article, and he definitely did a great thing by pitching in, John Rosenberg, a civil rights and legal aid activist, and Ned Pillersdorf, the attorney in the class action suit against Conn, were probably the ones who forced the change in course to happen so quickly - Conn's victims have only missed one check so far, the one they should have gotten this week. This was something that needed immediate action - there have already been three suicides - and they acted very fast.

Rosenberg in particular found out and started raising a ruckus before the letters rescinding everyone's benefits even made it to them. I can't guess how many hours this eighty-something-year-old dude spent on the phone with people at newspapers and the state and federal governments, but given what his Facebook's been looking like, I would say the answer was "a lot of them."

(Screening comments on this post, for reasons.)

Jan. 26th, 2015 03:21 pm
I envy persons for whom drunkenness is a pleasant state, or at least an anaesthetic one. It makes me sleepy, angry, and paranoid, and I already am all of those things all of the time.

It is three-fifteen PM, I am not intoxicated, I am just thinking about this for some reason.

I can’t drive safely right now due to shakiness/shiteyes so I just called and asked Mom to stop at the store and get me some me high-calorie high-protein canned foods because I’m only eating once a day or so. I then had to specify what foods this meant because she is in her fifties and still doesn’t know anything about human or animal nutrition. This is Kentucky, we’re in an abusive relationship with lard, we know it’s an abusive one but we can’t explain why, we use the word “trashy?” The problem with this relationship is not the socioeconomic iconography associated with the food, but part of the problem is that we think it is.

That’s not actually why I was thinking about booze, it’s an unrelated thought. This is a bad post.
Dad: You have to vote tomorrow, you have to vote for [his friend] and against [mom's enemy]!

Me: I don't know anything about the people they're running against. - wait, in Papaw's neighborhood today, there was this guy going around hassling people, he was sort of shaped like a cinderblock and had a buzzcut, who was he?

Dad: Uh... probably [name], he's running for [office].

Me: Okay. He was parked in a stupid place so I couldn't pull out, so I'll vote so I can vote against him.

Dad: His opponent runs a pit bull puppy mill, though! Keep that in mind.

Me: I'll write in my own name or something.
is that you're civilly obligated to talk trash about them after. My mockery is for the good of the commonwealth.
Gave in and took kratom, headache + liberal rage subsiding for first time in like three fucking days.

You may not think that the latter is a good thing, but when you wake up in the middle of the night because you got really mad at your senators in your sleep and your brain decided you needed to wake up to properly admire your own hissy fit, it's my opinion that you're liberal-raging slightly too hard. Also, probably playing too much Dwarf Fortress.

Blogger Snarp 'Completely' Serious cancels Sleep. Reason: Throwing tantrum about Kentucky.
Because it's not like nonwhite people or those otherwise known to vote "wrong" ever get turned away from the polls due to spurious horseshit these days.

Oh wait no that is in fact the case.

Seriously, literally all that section 5 said was that particularly hate-crime-prone states have to show changes to their voting procedures or redistricting plans to the Justice Department before implementing them. This is done on the basis that common sense suggests that they are more likely than other places to require "Arabian-looking" people to sing the Star-Spangled Banner in order to access the polls, or chop a primarily-black community into nineteen separate voting districts, or whatever.

So it's not exactly an unreasonable requirement. The only problem with it is that it's too limited; it does not, for example, cover my ridiculous state, home of the nation's largest concentration of KKK members. Because we're super responsible about electoral shit.

Here's an overly-mild description of the decision's implications by a someone at the Washington Post. There are four things he fails to address adequately:

Read more... )
I have come into possession of the supreme American cultural artifact. This priceless item will put my children through medical school - if I can bring myself to part with it. Its beauty is beyond compare.

Unnecessarily fancy model car with 'Viagra' printed on it.

Unnecessarily fancy model car with 'Viagra' printed on it.

This thing is a perfect encapsulation of everything that's wrong with the American formulation of masculinity.
Read more... )

There are a lot of hobbies that don't make much sense to me, but collecting faithful replicas of stock cars is just fabulously incoherent. The things are are just dangerously motile billboards for unhealthy crap - McDonalds, sugary cereals, managed mutual funds, etc - so why would an adult pay for little replicas of the things? Collectors, Quicken Loans should be paying you for the immeasurable psychic burden you take on by owning this absurd object.

It would kind of make sense to me if the cars had actual functioning engines you could take apart and fiddle with, but they're just like the little rubberband cars kids play with, except bigger and uglier. The windows and doors don't even open, and the chassis doesn't seem to have the openings necessary to install a little remote control engine or whatever.

This "Bud Light / Mothers Day 2003 Camaro" provides me with no viable means to hassle my pets, Action Diecast. Your product is a terrible failure.
I went in for my psychiatric appointment today and confirmed that, yeah, I'm still pretty useless at most things other than writing fanfic, playing Dwarf Fortress, and operating the rice maker.

She said, "Okay, don't freak out at me about this, but I'd like you to try Ativan. On a really low dose, okay?"

I'm paranoid about taking pills, is why she said it this way. It makes me nervous! "Yeah, well, the point of the Ativan is to make you less nervous -" That idea makes me nervous. "One milligram, and you can cut it in half if you want."

So I said I would try the Ativan, and then we came to the always-relaxing subject of the Kentucky state legislature. "So, you'll need to sign this waiver and get a drug test."

Why am I getting a drug test.

"Well, I mean, obviously it's not because you're doing drugs."

(I'm still trying to decide whether I should be concerned by this remark. Do people just look at me and go, "Yes, that's definitely a person who has never done any illegal drugs"? Is it the button-down shirts and sweater vests, you think? The extensive knowledge of Dwarf Fortress?)

"It's this stupid new law. You have to take one if you're being prescribed Ativan, or Oxycodone, or a whole bunch of other routine things. I'm sending all these little old ladies who take Valium once in a while in to give urine samples! So don't worry, like half the state's getting drug tests right now, no one's going to look at you funny."

What's especially great about this is that they have to stop prescribing stuff to people whose tests come back positive for, say, pot, which is used by a lot of cancer patients who might also need fucking Oxycodone? So, that's amazing.

Also, aren't anti-anxiety drugs like Ativan supposed to be useful to people in treatment for addiction? Why the fuck would we want to make life harder for addicts who are actively participating in treatment, if the goal here is actually to fix our state's drug problem?

Yeah, obviously that's not what we're trying to accomplish here, the goal's to kick sick people in the face until they fall over dead, as always.

Fuck my loathsome state, basically.
That's where you compete to see how many stereotypes about yourself you can fit into a single event. After months of impersonating a George Orwell book, the London Olympics are allegedly planning to launch with a battle between Voldemort and Mary Poppins. I assume that teacups and monocles will be passed out to the crowd, the monocles to be popped at appropriate times, and there'll be a dramatic reading of a Daily Mail editorial exhorting people to think of the children. Then, they top everything off with a member of the royal family saying something racist while wearing a garment that cost 40,000 pounds.

When Kentucky hosted the Self-Parody Olympics, we detained all the Arab athletes at the airport and arrested all the black ones for walking around in an aggressive-looking manner. Every statement anyone involved made to the media was required to include a minimum of one laudatory remark about the coal industry, and a union miner was shot in effigy to kick things off.
Though none of the people interviewed could suggest any better candidates, giving credence to my suspicion that they've never been to any other cities. You guys know that Louisville is just an hour and a half away, right? Go over there sometime and think about what's different.

This didn't really get driven home to me until I went to Japan, but Lexington is extremely hostile to pedestrians. It's kind of a cul-de-sac that metastasized. There's this shopping center where you can't safely get from one store to another without a car, because they forgot to put in any sidewalks or crosswalks. Form a mental image of this, then zoom out, imagining the city as a sort of foot-travel-hating fractal. That's Lexington!

I also hear there's a referendum on the ballot this year to change the city motto to, "Why the ---- would anyone want to ride a bus? Can't people ----ing drive?"
I emailed all of my state's fine congresspeople except for John Yarmuth last night, so I'm taking the credit for whatever this is. It is my belief that any form of attempted communication to Rand Paul is simply cast into a sort of vortex of madness, like in Soul Eater, but I already had a Republican-oriented form letter written up, so I figured why not.

It was really late when I did this, but I think the letter to Ben Chandler (Faux-D-KY) got a little abusive. I may have threatened to run against him.

The email form for representatives asks you for an address in their district, so for the other five districts I just found some Pizza Huts on Google Maps.
1) The eye of the hurricane is the most violent part.

2) "Almost" is an adjective.

3) When you're describing a sequence of events, you must always do so using the words "first," "next," "then," and "finally," in that order. If there are only two events, you just use the first two; if there are only three, I think you skip "then" and go straight on to "finally." I remember asking what to do if there were more than five events and being told that I should try to avoid that sort of situation.

4) When you are writing a "report" (whatever that is), there should be one introductory paragraph, three paragraphs supporting your "point" (whatever that is), and one concluding paragraph. No more, no less. Doubtless these "reports" were intended as a gentle introduction to the classic Eight-Legged Essay form, to prepare us for our lives as civil servants in feudal China.

5) Sometimes in life, you will have to write a "report" about a simple multiplication problem. You will not be given any sort of example showing what the hell that should look like; life is like that. However, it is an uncontested fact that reports about math problems do not contain sarcasm, so please fix those three-fifths of your paragraphs that you fucked up the first time.

6) Every fictional narrative has a moral, even if it is not readily apparent, even it is by Anne McCaffrey. If you're not sure what the moral is, try on each of the following and see which fits best:

  • "friendship is important"

  • "it's bad to be greedy or mean"

  • "you should always apologize when you do something wrong"

  • "racism was awful, back when it existed"

  • "wear kneepads and a helmet whenever you ride a bike or roller-skate"

  • "drugs do not make you cool"


It's that one.

Except sometimes it's "religions that value meditation are basically like worshiping Hostess snack cakes" or "a palindrome is a word that's the same spelled backwards and forwards," which can trip you up.

7) Cursive.

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