and then extended the middle section after I woke up:

There's no blackout after Flint finds out about Hinawa. Dawn comes, and you now have control of Lucas. Also, it's autumn, and the rain is sleet, and the woods are covered in frost.

Claus tells Lucas he's going to kill the Drago. Lucas has the choice of either promising to keep it secret, or going with him.

If they go together, they find Hinawa standing next to Lighter's burned house talking to the mouse. She acts as if nothing is wrong. Her chest has a little blood on it, and she's wearing lipstick.

Read more... )
(one of them)

is that when I'm playing out little scenes from stuff I'm writing in my head, I now keep trying to insert musical numbers. This is far beyond the bounds of my abilities, or common decency.

me: *tries to rewrite "HOV Lane" for use by dwarf mecha pilot addressing elf wizard*

Nicki Minaj and everyone else in the world: *beat me up with my own tiny resin dragon sculpture*

Jun. 22nd, 2015 07:00 pm
My really good paranormal romance novel I'm writing is on the moon and will be titled No It's Still Gay If You're Vampires.
I have a deep terror of becoming Andrew Hussie, so I have Reviews of Young Adult Novels planned out pretty tidily! There exists a plot outline which has remained pretty much unchanged since before my brain fucked off and I had to stop doing the Active Writing part.

Which kind of surprises me, because I've been expecting Hussie to do something that I'll decide I want to incorporate thematically, but I've felt pretty okay with my choices so far! I have been content.

Up until Thursday's update, that is. This obviously necessitates some changes.
In RoYAN, you become a supreme court justice if you defeat an existing supreme court justice in single combat.
I'd be surprised if anyone was awaiting my opinion on Gay Slavefic [Lymond Chronicles|Mary Renault Book] before wading in there, but it does its thing pretty well! I bless your endeavor.

I am sleep-deprived and read the first two books in about six hours today, in between fits of stunned incoherent torpor, and other fits of impatient banging on the keyboard working on the amazing Dwarf Fortress lesbian romance novel idea I came up with sometime in the carnivorous insomniac mists of the past few days. It's about girl-version Cacame Apebald, but it's the future, so the dwarves have mecha and the elves have genetically engineered trees such that they are mean. It is my best silly concept ever and I will definitely finish it well before the fever I apparently have breaks. I'm leaving room for the possibility is that I will instead pass the fuck out in a pile of cat litter during this timeframe, but that's an equally productive course of action.

I'm pretty sure that noise outside is villains and not just a branch so I'm going to go lock myself in my room or some shit.

Mar. 29th, 2015 11:21 pm
tfw you accidentally start shipping two characters in your ofic in ways that fuck up plot shit

"these are my own characters, I don't have to write them this way, I can alter their character traits -"

"NOT ANYMORE YOU CAN'T"
Because I don't really make enough of the necessary material public! But you know you're in a story by me when

* you are one of an Odd Couple engaged some dangerous enterprise out of necessity,

* one of you spends most of your time hiding or in disguise,

* there is a powerful figure of low moral standards with whom at least one of you, probably both, has a dangerous and probably non-platonic obsession, and

* there is something wrong with the moon.

(No one remembers how many there are or what their names are (RoYAN); it's gone for reasons you think are your own fault but you keep dreaming meaningfully about it (Karkri Bullshit); it's there and affecting the tides but we can no longer see it; its orbit has become unpredictable; there is something living on it that is not human and with which we can't usefully communicate; there are specifically Xian living on it and they are assholes; it's stuck to the top of a mountain; it's pulling your city up towards it an inch or so a year, while the city's dark twin sinks into the ground below; it's malevolent and must be destroyed; there are too many of it; looking at it in the dark is existentially dangerous and no one can go outside at night.

My relationship with the moon is best summarized by that traumatic Astro Boy story with all the dogs. My subconscious mind is convinced that unpleasant shit's going down up there and we need to do something about it.)
...But Not Without Major Revisions Of This Section I Don't Think.

The paranormal romance wherein the heroine is the Ancient Evil, and which is also Dwarf Fortress fanfic.

Read more... )
The one about princesses and my combative relationship with the works of Urobuchi Gen and Marion Zimmer Bradley.

Read more... )
First couple chapters of a Warcraft OC fic set shortly after Cataclysm.

Read more... )
There was a comic book about a young girl named Camille, drawn in a style that was a cross between Jhonen Vasquez and Moyoco Anno. She was very angry and frequently disoriented, because the world did not work the way it was supposed to, somehow. People disappeared and came back different and cruel, and she was the only one who noticed.

Sometimes she drifted off and came back to find familiar things twisted and burned black, days seemingly having passed, and people avoiding her. If she’s doing these things, why has nothing been done about her? She doesn’t know. It makes her mad.

I woke up from this dream into another dream, very disappointed that the comic book did not really exist. I was a small child spending the winter in the gloomy, tumbledown home of a depressed millionaire with many children. Exploring the massive house, I eventually worked out that it had once been several buildings, including a cafe (still in operation; it’s so big that the millionaire, who rarely goes further than the kitchen, hasn’t noticed) and a grade-school.

Some of the children are not the millionaire’s - they’re schoolchildren who were trapped in her house when it began to grow outwards and overtake the buildings nearby. The town is dilapidated and unpopulated for many miles beyond.

Read more... )

Jan. 31st, 2014 12:46 pm
I mean, look, THIS is what happens when I am left to my own stylistic devices and not writing fanfiction for a series consisting of 90% script-style dialog, with the non-script stuff being deliberately over-ornamented, hyper-symbolic-and-ironic, and commonly redundant to the dialog blocks so as to encourage casual readers to skim it and miss stuff, implying non-canonical or at best parenthetical status:

cut for a very serious and dramatic narrative about a WEREMOUSE )
He's only there for one plotline, and his job is to hit on the dude hero "ironically" but obviously be serious about it.

The stupid joke in this story - because I only ever devise fictional narratives based on stupid jokes - is that the protagonist dude really, honestly, seriously hates the rest of his party of adventurers and really, honestly, seriously does not want to be the one to save the world. He's not being tsundere and he's not being a reluctant hero, this is how he actually feels. A new potential romantic route opens for him in every storyline, and that just makes him really mad, he never asked to be the protagonist.

(The party's obligatory female cleric successfully petitioned her goddess to cast him as the protagonist because he ticked her off. He tries to arrange for the main villain to show up and kill her with a sword while she's praying in the obligatory water temple.)

Anyway, I came to the conclusion, while thinking about this, that people would totally hack the game to keep the hot guy in the party if I ever actually made it. So I decided that I would let there be a laborious way to bring him along that requires backtracking through a boring area for a long time and leaving a more-useful character behind.

In every plotline the characters get a new special technique, which they use automatically in certain circumstances. His is called "Excalliburton," and when he uses it he throws a bunch of your money up in the air, doing damage to the enemy, to your own party, and to any neutral or friendly NPCs nearby on the screen.

So I'm both a jerk and a person who makes dated puns. That is the takeaway of the story I just told.
Dreamed my sisters' house went up four stories, and the fourth led to a different crappy parallel universe every time you went up there.

Cronus Ampora was the protagonist of the first one, so I left.

The second was dystopian future wherein kids are asked to make an arbitrary choice around the time they're thirteen. The choice will determine everything about their future; if they make a "good" choice, they'll be given a place in society. If they make a "bad" one, which is much more common, they'll have most of their brains destroyed and be kept in a sort of stasis and permitted to happily, mindlessly play a stupid MMO until they're "too old" - however old that may be.

This dream's heroes were a set of twin girls who hacked the system to figure out the best possible choice, allowing them to be placed in the household of a ruthless military leader. This may someday allow one or both of them to succeed her or one of her colleagues, giving them the opportunity to change things.

However, it's likely that they will eventually be pitted against each other to prove their loyalty, and thus that only one of them will survive. They consider themselves very tough and prepared to sacrifice themselves and each other for the revolution.

Their plans are immediately thrown into crisis when, a few minutes after the Choosing ceremony, a girl in a wheelchair who's about to be put through the brain-destroying procedure begs their evil patron to save her in public. The patron pretends to adopt her to prevent a scene, but quickly dumps her in the street sans wheelchair. The twins can only get her to safety if one of them uses an item with which, if she's caught, will reveal her as a traitor. Obviously they do it anyway.

Scene-cut to some other kids because those two are probably screwed. These are Regis and Danilo from Darkover, co-conspirators of the hacker girls, who disrupted their Choosing ceremony with nanobots the girls slipped Regis, allowing all the kids there to escape.

They are now on the run and trying to rescue puppies because they are doofuses and the puppies are cute. YOU GUYS NO, THIS IS NOT WHY THEY GAVE YOU THOSE NANOBOTS
instead of my fanfics. I've been banging my head against the next few RoYAN chapters regularly, but I'm still feeling too crappy to write the necessary funny scenes, so I'm taking a break for the melancholy zombie apocalypse. ([personal profile] metaphortunate just inadvertently reminded me that I had failed to crosspost this from Tumblr.)

Read more... )

Sad dream.

Apr. 26th, 2013 10:30 am
Something terrible has happened to the Heir of Light, and s/he moves around the world in a fog. S/he dies frequently, unable or unwilling to care for hirself, and each time s/he "inherits" the luck of another person, returning to life in that person's body and wandering away with it alone.

An inheritance is something you get when you die, right? That sounds right to the Heir.

This has been going on for a long time. One day s/he finds hirself looking at a newspaper and astonished by the "2013" date - wasn't it 1952? Or 1977? Something like that. S/he becomes conscious for the first time that s/he does not know when s/he is.

S/he encounters a mirror and is surprised again. Shouldn't s/he be much older than this? S/he knows that this is not hir body, but s/he doesn't remember the right one.

Hir past is clogged with the present; s/he remembers the internet in the sixties. Sometime not too long ago s/he was in India during Emergency, so how did s/he get to the United States? S/he thinks it must be the world that's confused. Hir own memories are so clear.
Reviews Of Young Adult Novels, Mainly Those Prominently Featuring Vampires, And Containing At Least One Love Triangle, Chapter 11:

Rose woke up locked in a bloodstained metal cell next to a miniature bottle of bourbon and box of chalk. This wasn’t actually the first time she’d woken up in this specific configuration, which could be construed as evidence of poor life choices on her part.

This time she had a piece of paper scotch-taped to her forehead, which was new. It said:

“FUCK YOU ASSHOLE

AND YOUR ROBOT”

Good try, Mr. Vantas.
The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas Conquerers, Spattered With The Viscera Of Its Weak And Decadent People, Chapter 3:

"Goddamnit! I'm sorry, I just - why am I even apologizing to you, this is all you, it's not my fault. I mean, look. As has already been confirmed many, many times, I am a pathetic failure as a troll. Just - saw my horns off, paint me brown, and call me the Karkat human. Actually, no, the humans are better trolls than me at this point, Lalonde probably wouldn't hesitate to tear you in half. Maybe I'm some kind of chess guy. Fuck, I've solved the mystery at last! We're a couple of chess guys doing troll cosplay, that's what happened here."

"Anyway, that is the extent to which I am failing to kill you right now. I am failing to kill you even though, one, I loathe you (platonically), two, you're already fucking dead, and three, if you were thinking straight you'd want me to kill you."
Reviews Of Young Adult Novels, Mainly Those Prominently Featuring Vampires, And Containing At Least One Love Triangle, Chapter 9:

"Can't even find any record of them at all. Usually Crockercorp's databases are pretty good."

Rose said disinterestedly, peering at her phone, "I'm afraid I'm unsure as to their registration status. My personal assistant saw to the purchase. He's presently out of town, but I may be able to get him on the phone, if necessary."

She'd recruited Dad to play the part of her personal assistant, having evaluated her acquaintanceship for highest aloofiness attribute and ability to speak in complete sentences.

"About how much you spend on them?"

Rose thought one of her teeth broke, but maybe in this mental state she could regrow them. In this mental state, she could do a lot of things.

"I don't recall. He could tell you. The female was the more expensive one."

"Well, she got herself real messed up."

A milky film formed briefly over Rose's eyes, and within her mind there existed briefly a universe, bound within a bubble, and built entirely of tumescent outgrowths distorting the flexible skull of a being who felt only hate. "Fnlth gohluyng j'rg."

"- what?"

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The contents of this blog and all comments I make are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike License. I hope that name is long enough. I could add some stuff. It could also be a Bring Me A Sandwich License.

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