He feels similarly about coding or writing fanfic, but he's probably mostly right about that.
He also thinks that sinking his claws into a human is how you calm them down. I know he's just trying to knead, but I'm neither wearing a thick coat of fur nor producing milk, and he's an unusually pointy cat - seriously, razor-sharp. I suspect I'm going to end up with at least one scar on my stomach as a result of his efforts to heal my wounded soul on Saturday. Cut for slightly gross:
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my cat every time he realizes I'm under the blankets in bed: *pats and experimentally scratches around the blankets for at least five minutes to make sure he knows exactly where every part of my body can be found*
my cat at dawn every single morning: *tries to claw his way under my bedroom door*
my cat when I accidentally shut him in an empty room: *peaceful and silent acceptance of his situation for the entirety of the >2 hours it takes for me to notice that he's missing*
Edit 1: Hour one of the interrogation was all feigned innocence. Flailing after my hair, pretending enmity and fear for the chipmunks - the usual tired old schtick. God, Bu, don’t you know that I see through you now.
Edit 2: Hour 3. He’s starting to crack, now. Can’t even look me in the eye. Barely pretending interest in batting playfully at the camera strap.
Edit 3: Hour 5.
"And if it were true - what would that change, really? Between us? What changes today, @snarp?"
God help me, I don’t know.
me: Dude, I already gave you one piece of kale, that is plenty for you.
him: *tries to stick his head in my salad*
me: *puts him on the floor with his piece of kale*
He just really likes greens.
He scratched my hand pretty bad last night, is probably what it is. (He didn't like the noise I was making on the keyboard while engaging with Mettaton, and he attempted to put a stop to it.)
Dad, yelling somewhere behind her: ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TWO CATS
Me: I don't want the cats.
Mom: She doesn't want the cats, dear.
Dad: No! Give me the phone, give it to me!
Dad, solemnly: Now, honey, listen. There are two new cats here.
Me: I am all catted out.
Buoyancy the Cat, lying beside me apparently asleep: *actually growls??? which he never does??????*
Me: ...And Bu just actually growled??? Which he never does?????? - So, his answer's also no!
Dad: Just come look at them, honey, please.
Me: Take those cats to the shelter.
Dad: No, listen, listen, they're really talented, they're smart, they were singing - they joined hands and sang the Puss in Boots song -
Me: This sounds unlikely, Dad!
Dad: They were singing together the whole way to the house in the car!
Me: This is not a point in the cats' favor.
Dad: The cats are here. They're here at the house. They're here. *hangs up*
(He will probably take them to the shelter.)
It's also a good thing the stuff's so much cheaper now.
...I just heard him knock the desktop out of sleep mode.
(I don’t like C5. Or White Diamonds. They should back off and stop asking me how my horse princess book is. I am trying to read my horse princess book.)
So, an attempt was made! The Dollar Tree’s perfume supplier is not just dumping random stuff into these bottles. And they didn’t overdo the aldehydic elements to the point of harshness, like a dupe I tried a few years back.
It’s already wearing off, though. If I wanted a fake C5 with staying power (I don’t), I’d probably order some oil from one of those Etsy or eBay shops.
Rookie mistake, Bu.
I do not want to learn how many ways I can fuck up an Arduino to accomplish this! I don't have the energy for that right now. I just want to get the thing and set it up and watch my cat pacing suspiciously around a robot that's stuck in the corner.
He wants to stay in the bedroom with me and wake me up every hour or so at night, I guess to make sure I'm alive; when I put him out, he claws at the carpet outside the bedroom door. When I take a shower, he sits on the sink and yowls at me. When I leave the house, he waits on the ottoman facing the front door, where he can see me right away when I come back.