(the bra petulance post)

One of the new bras I got the other day was this, a Bali 3484. If this thing doesn’t fall apart or stop being manufactured, I am officially endorsing it as the C-Cup Autisms Bra.

It’s seamless, but the fabric’s texture doesn’t irritate my skin like the other seamless bras I’ve tried, and there don’t appear to be any narrow bands underneath that are likely to wear through quickly.

I also got this one, a Bali 103J, which is also comfortable (especially when worn inside-out). But it’s a lot flimsier - even if I only hand-wash it, I don’t think it’s going to last long - and also insufficiently supportive to really qualify as a bra.

(I got a Genie Bra and the Walmart knockoff thereof, too, but they’re both really shittily made - as in, I hand-washed them and the Genie Bra’s label came off, and the knock-off’s already getting stretched out - and not as comfortable as the Bali ones. $5 bras, not a good decision.)

People's reactions to me changed a lot during the ~2 years I spent in Japan - like, incidents in which I was treated badly because it was visible that I had brain issues became much less frequent.

I think I just figured out how to read people and do "normal" vocal intonation better during that period. To some extent that was a biological developmental thing - I was still having hormonal upheavals more common to thirteen-year-olds throughout college, and my hallucinations had only just died down for the final time when I moved to Okazaki - but part of it was probably the foreign language immersion.

It's kind of like I got to re-do part of the childhood language acquisition/socialization process, but with better control over my sensory bullshit. In a lot of situations my intonation and facial expressions come across more naturally when I'm speaking Japanese than English, but the connections I was making helped with English, too.
Until I was in maybe my late teens, early twenties, I didn't know what people were talking about when they discussed "good acting" and "bad acting."

Like: I watched Mystery Science Theater a lot, but I couldn't really see any difference between the acting in a movie like Pod People and in ET. It was all just. People saying stuff? I couldn't tell the difference.

I remember zoning out during some movie thing we were watching in class in grade school, thinking that Good Acting must be an arbitrary thing like fashion, and thus that it had been different in every culture's every historical era. There probably existed, or someday would exist, a place and time in which the guy who played Zap Rowsdower would have been a great actor! Logic.

Another thought Little Me had on the subject of acting: Maybe in Hatshepsut's era, the good actors were the ones who could sort of remain on kind of the same plane, keeping all their limbs showing at once and their face always perpendicular to the audience with facial expressions as flat as possible and not visibly move their mouths, like in the art of the time?

Image from an Egyptian Book of the Dead

Fig 1. - Good Acting.

In this time period, the goal of "good acting" might well have been looking 2D, and in general just trying really hard to resemble pictures from the Book of the Dead. Flashstepping from one rigid pose to another so the audience can't tell you're moving.

Yeah - that's definitely possible and even likely, thought Little Me, entirely satisfied with this hypothesis and the premises behind it.

I figured that whatever people were defining as "good acting" in the present was probably based on some similar artificial ideal whose identity I just hadn't yet isolated.

In retrospect, it's kind of astonishing that it took until last year for me to be diagnosed with ASD.

April 2017

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