Jun. 28th, 2015 02:12 am
Dubiety gone as of ~2:45 PM. I am sick of Anger Stage Of Grief being my base state of existence. My consciousness will disintegrate and all that will be left is the pattern of electrical impulses responsible for bitching about Bujold on a blog. For visual metaphor imagine melted robot that’s just a hand clattering across a keyboard and a single narrowed eye.

(Belated Tumblr crosspost, he had a saddle thrombus yesterday evening.)
How to cope with health crash:

1) "Okay so I really need to be careful about making sure I have enough vitamins given my apparent inability to digest normal-people foods."

2) Go on Amazon to see if I can order vitamins in bulk cheaper than at store.

3) Pick out four cat-related items because I am worrying about my constantly-sick cat, who is acting sick again today.

4) About to check out: "Wait."

5) "Okay the vitamins are not really cheaper on Amazon than at the drugstore, but here is a good sale on bioperine?"

6) Order a bunch of cat stuff and a small bottle of bioperine.

Jun. 26th, 2015 08:21 pm
My main concern about my imminent death is just that probably no one else will tolerate my cat's bullshit.
I use too much turmeric and don't always wipe the counter down, and now obviously his white spots are orange. Stay off the counter, dumbass.
me: *feels awful, writes a bunch of angsty bullshit. the angsty bullshit is too angsty bullshit for the internet to bear up under*

me: *lies down on floor next to cat*

me: Fix my problems, cat.

cat: *licks my hand for like two minutes*

May. 8th, 2015 03:18 pm
I didn't latch the screen door right yesterday, and today Buoyancy the Cat got it open, got his collar off, and went outside to play.

Dubiety, upset about this situation (I assume more the door being open than Buoyancy being gone) came and woke me up around two in the afternoon. Because he just wanted to be reassured that he still got petted in a world in which the door was standing open, it was another half hour before I came out and found the problem.

Fortunately for my sanity and his health, Buoyancy was just over by the shed, and came cheerfully when I called him. Two flies had gotten in, an intrusion to which the cats are not accustomed. Buoyancy has been trying to teach himself to fly in an effort to catch them, and Dubiety has been hunched poofed-up on the floor, watching them anxiously.

Apr. 22nd, 2015 04:10 pm
Buoyancy the Cat really likes his Hexbug. He follows it around the kitchen, bats it into a corner, flips it over, then curls up around it to keep it from escaping. Then he bats it some more, until it rights itself and gets moving again.

If it goes into the part of the kitchen he doesn't like - by the sink - he picks it up carefully in his mouth and carries it over to the part he likes - by the food bowls - then drops it and chases it again. When he's done with it, he "kills" it by dropping it on the rug, where it can't move anymore.

I think Dubiety mostly just appreciates that it keeps Buoyancy entertained so he doesn't have to.
Earlier, as a coal train was going by, there was what sounded like a gunshot right by the kitchen door earlier. Something fell to the floor with a little metallic "ting."

I was standing on the other side of the kitchen, and I froze for a couple seconds, examining everything for bullet holes. Seeing none, and no one outside who might plausibly have been trying to murder me, I went over and picked the metal thing up. It was a tiny metal disc, not warm or scorched.

It had landed right next to the garbage can, which was roughly where the sound appeared to have come from. I looked in, halfway expecting to see an oppossum in there. (This wouldn't be the first time, okay.)

The culprit was, probably unsurprisingly to other people, the other half of a watch battery - I'd replaced the one in Buoyancy's toy bug for him this morning. I'd dropped it on top of a flat piece of dry cardboard which was at a slight angle, and it had slid down and touched the side of the garbage bag, which was also dry.

So, the train went past, the can vibrated, and the cardboard rubbed the battery against the bag, resulting in static, which made the battery blow up. Mystery solved!

This would have sent me into a panic spiral lasting for hours last summer; this time, even though I'm a few notches tenser than my norm, I just threw the rest of the battery away and went back to frowning at Photoshop. Good work, brain meds.

Apr. 13th, 2015 10:23 am
I found one of those automated laser cat toys for $10, but 1) I had to spend like twenty minutes banging it on stuff to get it to start working, and 2) now that it is working, it's really loud.

It's distracting Buoyancy from his habitual acts of property damage without any input from me, though, so I guess it was a good purchase.


Apr. 9th, 2015 05:10 pm
I am sitting on the couch. A black cat peers around a corner at me. I don't have a black cat.

"- who the hell are you?!"

It bolts back outside the door which my own cats apparently opened for it. How did they do this.
Sorry, I was sick and so was the cat. Maybe I'll observe it some other time, when you are not expecting me to turn into a Homestuck/Witches of Karres crossover character.

Anyway, I'm trying to make it a rule that I have to stand at the counter while hecking around on the internet/playing games now, in hopes that this will keep me from getting groggy. My feet start hurting, and I am too cheap to get one of those mats, so I prepared a small sampler of objects to stand on and tested them one-by-one: a couple different doormats and towels, a fleece blankie, my shoes and slippers.

The thing that turned out to be most comfortable is a pair of $5 pseudo-crocs slippers I lost the fuzzy lining to; they're a little softer than normal crocs, and have smooth insoles, so they're basically perfect for this purpose. I am pleased with the performance of my ugly utilitarian shoes.
I'm going to have to let Buoyancy share Dubiety's expensive medicated food. I've been trying to keep them separated for meals, but they both just spend mealtime walking back and forth between their bowl and the door separating them. Bu mewls and scratches at it.

And they're really stressed out the rest of the day, too - Du won't let me pet him, Bu acts scared of me and his toys. Why am I separating them, why am I locking Du in, why am I taking food away from the anxious former-strays, why am I being meeeeeean?

So, yeah. I gave in and left the medicated stuff out for both of them last night, immediately calming them both down considerably - Du actually purred last night - and called the vet this morning to make sure it was safe to keep doing that. It is, but, like. This is expensive food.

Mar. 21st, 2015 10:41 pm
I was moving the laser pointer up and down and the battery died. The cat kept bobbing his head for several seconds afterwards. He turned to look at me reproachfully, head still bobbing, up and down. I'm sorry that I broke your head, cat.
He is following me around the house as normal, and has even purred a couple of times. He has yet to bite me. This will change. He has to eat special food for cats with bladder problems now, which he is not going to like. I'm probably going to try and slip him some l-theanine as well.

He just bit me twice. This is why I'm giving you anxiety meds, poofus.

Mar. 13th, 2015 06:26 pm
Dubiety the Cat got mad at me for caring about his well-being in ways that disrupted his routine (vet visit and medicine), and then at Buoyancy for being his friend. He has growled and snapped at both of us many times today, and is now hiding under the bed.

Buoyancy is also down there in solidarity, because he doesn't understand wanting to be alone. Dubiety sullenly refuses to turn his head in his direction.

Mar. 12th, 2015 10:11 pm
The most upsetting thing in the world is when an animal is sick and just lying quietly somewhere uncharacteristic, disinterested in any outside stimulus like food and being poked.

Stop it, Poofus, try and kill me like normal.

Mar. 8th, 2015 04:10 pm
I found some $1 catnip spray at the grocery and have been putting it on the scratch-toys, with the aim of getting Dubiety away from the furniture and Buoyancy away from the carpet. This has not worked at all on Dubiety, who just gets groggy and mellow when exposed to catnip - it doesn't make him want to play.

It works well on Buoyancy, though! Possibly too well. He licks and chews the things instead of scratching them. He's gnawing the scratching post like a teething dog right now.

I really like the smell of the catnip spray. I wish I could use it as a perfume! I'd probably be eaten in my sleep if I tried.

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