I'm inventing a fake coffee company to mess with my Dad. I've been giving him real boutique-y coffee beans for the past few years, and having lulled him into a false sense of security, it's time to give him Folgers with a fancy label I designed.
Sibling and Mom, if you clicked on this regardless of my warning, you had BETTER NOT TELL HIM. Do not ruin this for me. I will be So Mad.