Feb. 3rd, 2015

Feb. 3rd, 2015 07:59 am
Eating food is hard. And I have to do it multiple times each day, one isn’t enough? This is too much responsibility for me
LELIANA: Beloved, don’t you have another shield?

DORFWARDEN: yeah a few

DORFWARDEN: why

LELIANA: I’d feel better if you used your nice new silverite one, is all. It’s. Heavier! I worry about your safety.

DORFWARDEN: why

DORFWARDEN: you think we’re gonna be fighting shit in my awesome enlightened home city that’s the best city in the whole FUCKING world

ALISTAIR: i think that actually yes

DORFWARDEN: man shut up

LELIANA: Isn’t that the shield with the Aeducan clan arms on it?

DORFWARDEN: no

SHALE: Yes.

DORFWARDEN: maybe??? who cares

LELIANA: A lot of dwarves, I think! What are you going to say when they ask you about it?

DORFWARDEN: god

DORFWARDEN: what the fuck do you think i’m going to say

DORFWARDEN: “my dad sent me this ancient family heirloom as he lay on his deathbed cuz he belatedly recognized my brother’s treachery and TOTALLY wished he’d made me his heir when he had the chance”

DORFWARDEN: “thus throwing a huge explosive fucked-up kink into this whole shitty war of succession we’re supposed to be delicately negotiating as neutral parties”

DORFWARDEN: “i’m the heir it’s me”

DORFWARDEN: “suck it bhetch”

SHALE: “Bhetch?”

DORFWARDEN: yeah i combined bhelen’s name with bitch there

Read more... )
ALISTAIR: so

ALISTAIR: are we going to support your brother or the other one

DORFWARDEN: ugh

ALISTAIR: you must have thought about this

DORFWARDEN: dude you suck fuck off

SHALE: I, too, am very excited to hear its clear-minded and impartial opinion of this situation.

DORFWARDEN: shale

DORFWARDEN: shale

DORFWARDEN: what do you call it when a rock is full of shit

SHALE: Coprolite, yes? Potentially bituminous coal or lignite, though I assume it’s rare for it to form in precisely that manner.

DORFWARDEN: right exactly but you also though

ALISTAIR: as loath as i am to interrupt this high-minded conversation could you please tell me what we’re doing here

DORFWARDEN: dude you’ve been standing right fucking behind me every awful fucking conversation i’ve had

DORFWARDEN: you tell me

ALISTAIR: i don’t know i don’t know anything about dwarves

DORFWARDEN: yeah weirdly i didn’t know anything about humans until like a few fucking months ago

DORFWARDEN: yet somehow man

DORFWARDEN: SOMEHOW

ALISTAIR: are you going to finish that sentence

DORFWARDEN: what sentence

ALISTAIR: the one you started with “somehow”

DORFWARDEN: fuck you

DORFWARDEN: no

DORFWARDEN: hey alistair are you fucking KING yet

Read more... )

Feb. 3rd, 2015 10:44 am
CARIDIN: There. It is done. Give it to whom you will. I do not wish to hear their name, or anything more of them.

ALISTAIR: oh, we’re just going to put it on top of a piece of coprolite and say it’s king, apparently

DORFWARDEN: shut the FUCK up alistair GOD

ALISTAIR: sorry bad assumption are we going to say the rock’s QUEEN

Feb. 3rd, 2015 11:16 pm
I have been using the same icon for thirteen or fourteen years now and would probably come unhinged from my own identity if I changed it. I’d think I’m a capybara or asleep or something.

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