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- Tag: t: homestuck - This blog is currently pretty much only about Homestuck and my brain problems. And maybe Homestuck is a hallucination I'm having! And this is just, like, some folie à deux shit when people comment on my posts about it as if they're familiar with the subject matter. So, it could be it's just a blog about my brain problems.

- Tag: Kazuya Minekura's blog - Kazuya Minekura, the artist of the amazing Gensoumaden Saiyuki, was diagnosed with some pretty serious health issues a while back. She's been writing some very funny, angry, honest blog entries about her situation.

I've translated a number of these posts, but have fallen ridiculously behind; I encourage anyone else who'd like to pick up where I left off to do so.

- Post: The Very Small Problem - In the fall of 2010, I was diagnosed with a small tumor in my right frontal lobe. I was able to have it successfully removed in March of 2011, before it could cause any permanent brain damage. If it weren't for the existence of state high risk pools, a provision of 2010's Affordable Care Act - which some lawmakers are presently trying to repeal - it's very likely that I still wouldn't even know the tumor was there.

This post was written specifically to make American Republicans feel like jerks. I use my power for good, people.

- Tag: manga tropes - The Encyclopedia of Manga Tropes. Girl Power Corrupts may well be how you found this blog!

- Tag: a: kubo tite - In which I roundly scold Kubo Tite, artist of Bleach! Bleach vs Women and Bleach and power fantasies may well be how you found this blog! (Both of those posts contain spoilers up to chapter 395.)

- Post: TODAY I AM A DARKOVER BOOK may well be how you found this blog!

- Post: Anne Bishop does not CARE what you think and Heir to the Shadows may well etc.

- Tag: manga - I just talk about manga a lot in general.

- Tag: books - I also talk about sci-fi, fantasy, and paranormal romance novels a lot!

- Tag: i teach english - In 2009, I spent seven months teaching English to Japanese kids in Shibata, Japan. Wacky antics ensued!

- Tag: i study japanese - And in 2007-2008, I spent a year studying Japanese at the Yamasa Institute in Okazaki, Japan. Wacky antics ensued!
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Me: Oh, it's because it's 4:30 PM, and all I've eaten today is a stale muffin.
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When you hit level 50, the city throws you a party, where you have to fight a big death-spider from another dimension and watch Uriel and Kira's marriage disintegrating. It's not a very good party. Adriana even doesn't even show up, I guess she's too busy being an Attack on Titan character up in Stillmoor.
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I think that instead of having a bio associated with this blog, I should just link to my Tumblr posts from April 7th. I pretty much summed myself up that day.

This is it. This is what you get. The item is non-returnable in its current state, there's hair all over it.
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So I will repost this one from May of 2008, set in Japanese language immersion class.

Heteronormativity-san, because he is apparently about twelve years old, enjoys shoving persons of the feminine disposition. He hasn’t tried it seriously on me for a couple months, because I’ve been known to kick. But today at lunch I passed him in the stairwell, saw that he was smirking for reasons that were doubtless extremely heteronormative, and made a face at him. So he pushed me, and threw me off balance enough that I fell down and landed on my posterior in a manner that I’m sure was very amusing.

After ascertaining that I was all right, he felt it necessary to explain the situation to me: “It wasn’t my fault! That was not my fault!”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“It wasn’t my fault!” I’d been going down to the first floor pick up my mail, so I threatened his life again, and limped tragically on down with my hand on my abused posterior.

(Incidentally, I have since examined it and discovered extremely visible bruises. I seriously do need to hurt him about this.)

He was in the classroom when I got back up to the classroom a couple minutes later, so I hit him over the head with my envelopes. He wailed, “It wasn’t my fault! It was your own fault!”

And everyone else in the room (except Fuzzy-san, who was playing his stupid PSP like always) all said in pretty much the same moment, “It was Heteronormativity-san’s faullllt!”

It became obvious that he had run straight up there to explain to everyone that yes, I’d fallen down the stairs, and yes, he’d pushed me, but it wasn’t his fault.

So what we have learned today is that lack of fluency in a language leads people not only to express themselves like children, but also to behave like children! I am not ashamed. It was completely his fault.
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I got my Perfumer's Apprentice order, and am very happy with the vanilla and oakmoss scents. The oakmoss is very strong; I opened it and sniffed the cap yesterday evening, and smelled like oakmoss for the rest of the night because I touched the rim of the bottle. This pleases me.
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I've decided that the reason that no one in my family but me has a sense of smell is that I am secretly a forest elf born of a magical pond, like in that Carol Berg series with the eyeball-stealing necromancer who is the good guy somehow.

So I am going to go interrogate bodies of water about how exactly that works until I find one that talks back. I predict that this process will be more productive than my attempts to convince my parents that the house is smelly.
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I do not like the long periods of exhausted-vague-sorta-okay-ness, punctuated by the sudden certainty that I will live to see the world end, a conviction which will last from one to three hours.

Maybe the dosage is too low or the time-release isn't time-releasing right, I don't know. It always happens in the evening.
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If you use LastPass to store your passwords (and it is at the moment the very best way to do that, in my Persnickety IT Jerk opinion), they've updated their password security evaluation tool to advise you on which sites you might want to avoid for the moment, and on which you should log in and change your password. You access it by going into the "Tools" menu and choosing "Security Check."
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I feel like you can't really use Shakespeare's tragedies for this, except maybe for Titus; I think the thing that makes them seem to hit harder is that you can always see ways they didn't have to end the way they did. The protagonists have their necessary Tragic Flaws, yeah - but there's always at least one character in there who seems to have a sense of perspective about shit and thus isn't affected by the Tragedy Gravitational Field, and is just kind of going "what the fuck people, calm down." If they'd been the protagonist, things would probably have been fine!

Which is not the case with Webster and Marlowe. No one is immune to the requirements of the plot in those guys' stuff. Which is fine in its own way, but it gives a very different emotional effect.

("Shakespeare is pretty good and interesting," revolutionary opinion here.)
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But the metaphor depends upon knowledge of the works of John Webster, which is a problem in terms of universal comprehensibility.

Here is the metaphor anyway: Try to imagine a happy ending for The White Devil.

See? See?
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Someone knocked on the front door a couple hours ago, surprising me because the front door has been gross and broken since I was a kid and people always come in the side door. I went out and found a woman who looked vaguely familiar on the porch. "Are your dogs lost? The little fluffy dogs who look like twins? Because I just saw them over in [town name]!"

Their new owners live in said town, which is about five miles away, so I reassured her that they were probably where they were supposed to be, and she said, "Oh, good! They would come over and play with us when we went sledding in the park this winter, so I recognized them right away, and was worried they were lost! They're such sweet little guys."

These dogs are so popular! Except with our own animals. Alas.
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Because I was throwing a hissy fit about Anita Blake on Tumblr, I am reposting this comment I made about about that series a while back:

Well, the thing is that AB was the first urban fantasy/paranormal romance series of a particular modern breed: the competent female protagonist with a cynical worldview doing a dangerous job and protecting the weak. She's unappreciated for it - and realistically broke, which I think is an important element here - until some equally-competent supernatural guys in positions of power show up, admire her, vy for her affections, offer her wealth and security, etc.

The latter part is obviously not a new thing for romance, but the first part was. Urban fantasy heroines pre-Blake were like typical romance heroines in that they tended to be kind of passive figures, unable to defend themselves, much less anyone else. They might have some sort of special heritage or magical powers, but it was something that for whatever reason, they didn't actively use until forced.

And then here was this whole series about this sarcastic woman going out and fighting zombies every day. What makes these books important and attractive is that Blake, though she frequently seems outclassed early on, always ends up able to take care of herself and those around her. The first book was about her rescuing Jean-Claude, the vampire who's in love with her, from a female vampire.

...But then it all turned into weird softcore BDSM erotica! And now a lot of people know more about Laurell K. Hamilton's private kinks than we originally anticipated. Books 7 and 8 (Burnt Offerings and Blue Moon) were where the problem started to get obvious, as I recall, though I think it wasn't until the latter that scenes explaining werecreature pack mating/power dynamics and analyzing people's relative sexiness actually started outnumbering plot-related scenes.

Then there was book 9, Obsidian Butterfly, which was sort of a self-conscious backtrack to the early-series formula, and obliquely and maybe-accidentally self-analytical, with several scenes directly mirroring those from the first book. But having gotten that out of her system, she threw all shame out the window and wrote the demented Narcissus in Chains, and from then on it was apparently all werecreature orgies and metaphysically-induced orgasms. (I couldn't even finish NiC, so for this I rely on the reports of others.)

The early books haven't aged well, now that there are so many others following the same basic plotline and doing it better: they're simultaneously formulaic and badly-paced, and the prose lies someplace in between utilitarian and awkward. They're also very violent - I would say unusually so - but lacking the sense of humanity required to make it feel necessary and earned. And there's a lot of really unpleasant misogyny aimed at women who aren't Blake. With maybe one exception, they're always either victims she needs to protect or monsters she needs to destroy.

Basically, I would recommend Marjorie Liu, JD Robb, or Ilona Andrews instead.

(Persons who have been reading the askblog for my Homestuck fanfic wherein Kanaya has a blog may recognize some of these words. My characterization of the alien vampire is flawless and entirely uninformed by my own prejudices.)

Failure

Apr. 8th, 2014 04:23 pm
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Vis-a-vis the vanilla thing, I'm probably going to order that from Perfumer's Apprentice. (Cooking vanilla is not really appropriate to this, for those who asked; the smell's weak and doesn't last long.)

I am just. Going to have to convince myself not to also order samples of all of their ambergris, moss, and mint notes at the same time, so as to try and dupe BPAL's Cathode.
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Where does one acquire a good, inexpensive single-note vanilla scent?
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I have applied large quantities of two separate varieties of jasmine essential oil and now feel better about life.
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as a rude appellation for people who hop into social justice movements for attention/perceived ease of access to the genitalia of their preferred gender(s)/money, is this:

If I were going to borrow terminology from surreal creepy-dude cliques, I would be borrowing from the actual fucking surrealists.

Not the MRAs! No.

I will be calling people who use that term Andalusian dogs from now on. Objections to this will be met with apparently-relevant quotations from The Theatre and Its Double that probably don't actually mean anything. This is a metaphor for your problems.
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Studies have shown that, in 80% of lesbian divorces, one or both individuals state the grounds for divorce to be "evil space dragons."
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I'm going to start calling my reproductive organs "the old man."

#who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him
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Bought bananas\=D/
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thegeekgene: No. But see. If I cosplay Cronus, then Cronus will have fantastic breasts. And then everything will be fine!

me: No.

Mom: What?

thegeekgene: Yes.

me: No. According to Tumblr user punpunichu -

Mom: What.

me: - everything will still be terrible, because his personality will be still be terrible. - that's a Tumblr artist who draws pictures of this character doing terrible things and having terrible things done to him. As is canonical.

thegeekgene: Fuck you.

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The contents of this blog and all comments I make are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike License. I hope that name is long enough. I could add some stuff. It could also be a Bring Me A Sandwich License.

If you desire to thank me for the pretend internet magnanimity I show by sharing my important and serious thoughts with you, I accept pretend internet dollars (Bitcoins): 19BqFnAHNpSq8N2A1pafEGSqLv4B6ScstB